feelin' down & dirty

Not a good day today. Our cat (my wife & I) is not doing well, and I think the reality of that sort of hit me today. I also find myself missing good friends who have seemed to have all but disappeared from my life.

I profess to be a Buddhist, but I am constantly reminded how poor a Buddhist I am. I have a lot of trouble with that whole detachment thing. And I admit it, I'm not too good with the Loving-Kindness either; not good at turning the other cheek. I guess the one thing I can say for myself is that I'm not deluded about who I am. Still, I frustrate myself.

Perhaps the current lesson before me is the lesson of letting go--honoring the friendship of the past while acknowledging that things change. But it's a hard thing to do when people who have had a pivotal influence on your life disappear. But then again, I know I'm not the person I was then. I have gone through my changes, and so have they. I guess I somehow always thought that they'd be there, though, in some capacity. At times like these, I am that much more thankful for my wife, knowing that no matter what happens, she will always be there, standing right beside me. That is the one overwhelming consolation I have in the midst of it all--the one person whom I love more than any other, who is my best friend, is the one that will not disappear. For that, I am thankful.

All Things Must Pass
by George Harrison

Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up
And has left you with no warning
It's not always been this gray
All things must pass
All things must pass away
Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this
My love is up and must be leaving
It's not always been this gray
All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's dreams can last
So, I must be on my way
To face another day
And darkness only stays at nighttime
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good
At arriving at the right time
It's not always gonna be this gray
All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
All things must pass away