An Autumnal Soul in Reach of Summer

It is almost summer, but that does nothing to change the fact that I find myself in a foul and evil mood.  Never in my life have I felt such an overwhelming feeling of complete impotence to affect any sort of positive change in the world, even in my little mundane corner of it.  I am not a man who relishes the feeling of standing helpless before the Fates, but it is an almost all consuming sensation of dread that I cannot escape.  I feel anchorless, rootless, and utterly removed from the vast flow of humanity.

Which might be a good thing.  It might even be the best thing to ever happen to me.  More than once in my life, I have had my back up against the wall with no discernible exit within reach, but I have always managed to somehow, someway bounce back.  I was born under the sign of the Phoenix, after all.  And that is not something to be forgotten.  Perhaps these dark stagnate seas which I now aimlessly float through are just the thing to put some dragon breath back in my sails.

More than anything, I think I need to return to a sense of community.  My wife offers a great deal of comfort to me (which is no easy task), but our work hours make it so we often times only see each other in passing.  My workmates are of a good sort, but when the whistle blows, we all go our separate ways and I return to that vast wilderness of isolation.

It is time to be grounded once more in the Earth and all that springs forth from it.  I have dwelled too long in those patches of night never cleared away by day.  A turning of the page must commence.  I must find a new day to write my song.